Tuesday, August 14, 2012

A Former Co-Worker is Stalking my 'Anon' Blog

Former Co-Worker Stalking Me
(c) 2012 Mommy Needs Vodka

Ok, so I’ve known about this for some time now.

An audit was done of our department’s online activities, and this blog showed up as one of the websites I frequented. And probably posted to. (AFTER the audit, which is an interesting twist in this dull piece of theater.) While at work during a slow period. Like the rest of the group, I got called into my boss’s office and reamed out for Using The Internet.

This website was never mentioned. In fact, my greatest transgression was that I’d made some innocuous purchases online at sites like Amazon. A book, earrings, that sort of thing. When he got the report, my boss waved it in front of my face, so pissed that I could see the veins popping out of his neck. After his tirade, he sat back and looked at me squarely, waiting for my mea culpa, waiting for me to be all shaken and quivering, weeping “I’m sorry.”  I mean, it was as if I’d been caught watching hard core porn or Googling “How to be a Pedophile” instead of buying a Barbara Kingsolver novel off

The dude needed a major chill pill to begin with; let’s just say that the position of the person required to sit in the cubicle just outside of his office had a 300% turnover rate during my last year there. He had a WWJD mug on his desk, quotes about God all over the place, and was a Churchgoer. Nothing against churchgoers, but despite all this paraphernalia ‘round his environs, the only time I heard him even come close to talking about religion was when he’d shout “JESUS CHRIST!!” surrounded by a plethora of swear words. And sometimes the slam of his door. He gave at least 2 of the women in that nearby cubicle nervous breakdowns before they resigned. He looked like this most of the time:

(c) Ronald Grant

But, I digress.

He got all Big Brother on me, and naturally turned to the IT department—who  already had a god-complex themselves (most of them, anyway) by nature of their access to our internet meanderings—to trace all of the websites I frequented whilst at work. (This blog was one of them, but not till later; my point being that Stalker continued to check up on me long after the Audit.)

I’ll do a different post about Anon blogs, (though there really is no such thing), but I will say that I gave NO ONE at work – in fact NO ONE AT ALL except for 2 people with at least 4 degrees of separation from any coworker – the name of this blog. I didn’t even mention I had one. My family doesn’t even know, or care, except one person who Unfollowed but secretly reads from her Android. The other one’s no longer a friend and lives a thousand miles away and has never known where I work.

A couple of months after this fiasco with my boss, some odd things began to pop up in my Analytics. Someone in the building was reading my blog. Okaaaaayyy. But the strangest thing was when my Analytics later showed that Stalker typed in my blog name and then the name of a co-worker in the very next cube who I worked closely with every day, FROM O’HARE AIRPORT. Dude!

So Stalker, despite getting the info from IT directly or being in IT (I shall not reveal My Stalker here), was dumb enough to actually stalk me from O’Hare! With all the other parameters, including their home stalkings, it narrowed down the individual quite a bit. In other words, I know who the hell you are, even if you use a proxy server, asshole.

The strange thing, though, is not that this happened. I mean, OF COURSE someone’s going to be all curious and read your blog if they think you’re going to dish about your workplace, especially a co-worker sitting next to you who’s a little strange. Granted, Stalker is stupid to think I’d mention said co-worker by name, for godsakes, even first name. I’d never fucking do that. If I did, I’d make up a bunch of shit and just have fun with it, make it like a soap opera and say that my boss’s boss was  sleeping with the VP or something – hell, why didn’t I think of that earlier?? (I do admit to toying with Stalker with some embellishments here and there – hee-hee.)

No, the strange thing is that Stalker read it as recently as August 4 from home. Using their Cox account and browsing with Firefox, for crying out loud. And I haven’t worked at this place in over a year. Surely my life is not that exciting. Is my acerbic wit so stunning that a look-see here should kick in a case of cyber addiction?

Yeah, no.

And, look. I’m not going to say anything at all about 2010, so fucking relax. I’m not even going to admit that a single word on this whole website is the truth, see? So, Stalker, go back to your little desk in your little workplace and continue living your little life.

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