Mommy Needs Vodka: Reasons Why I Don’t Like My Child’s Teacher

Reasons Why I Don’t Like My Child’s Teacher

Reasons I Don’t Like My Child’s Teacher

To be honest, I don't like my son's teacher. I'd love your mommy input because this mommy needs to know: am I being a picky bitch or is this woman annoying?

Here are a few things that annoy me:

1. After kindergarten roundup last spring, when I met her for the first time, she said my son asked a question during story time so therefore he was not ready for school. So we started off on a bad note, not because I can't take criticism of my child, but that, to me, was a poor reason for him not being "ready" for school.

2. She's one of those faux peppy blonde people with wide eyes and a perpetual smile pasted on her face, while the knife is still in your back. Her eyes are so wide it reminds me of this show I used to watch as a kid where the robot (Orphan Annie cartoon?) had eyes always showing the entire pupil. How does she get her eyes to stay that wide all the damn time?

3. On Facebook, she has friended some of the moms of students in the class. Sorry, but this is in poor taste. I can see having friends, and whoops, one of them happens to be the mom of a student she teaches. I get that. But she has 5 moms or so from current students, and those are the only ones who get called to volunteer at the classroom parties, etc.

4. Also on Facebook: Photos of her showing cleavage and drinking vodka. No doubt the woman needs vodka. Hell, anyone who spends the better part of every day managing a classroom of 20 kids, and having small kids of her own, deserves to drink once in awhile. I don't begrudge her that, hells no. But blatantly public photos in full party mode, drinking on a boat with your bikini down to the nipples, or raising the bottle with friends whilst smiling at the camera--is just not a good idea for a kindergarten teacher to have PUBLICLY in most of their albums on Facebook. At least have the decency to make your profile somewhat private (ie, Friends Only) if you're going to post that shit.

5. Bad grammar. I'm really not an uptight bitch most of the time, I swear. But I winced at parent night to hear her go on in this vein: "It will be more funner for the kids when we start...." or "She seen me walk to the chalkboard...." or "We don't have none of those." Ya know? The woman has a Master's Degree, for crying out loud.

6. Chomping on gum during parent teacher conferences. I only got 15 mins to talk to her. Twice per year. Oh, the irony to hear this, "He's just," she rolled her eyes heavenward to find the right words while chomping--I was just waiting for her to blow a bubble!--"not all that mature, ya know? He needs to work on that." Yeah. Problem was, I couldn't ask any questions because she wanted to spend the entire 15 mins. going over his report card, just reading to me what it said. Lady, I can read. It was a complete waste of time.

7. She gives me a ton-load of work! Every night my son comes home with some cockamamie note of instructions for me to do. Like he needs to bring in a fresh pomegranite the very next day or something. Constantly. "This week we're focusing on family," she'll write. "I need a list of things that you do as a Family - Daddy, Mommy, and siblings. And photographs of those activities. By tomorrow." And the supply list at the beginning of the year! This post by another mom shows that I must not be alone here. 

8. Talks non-stop about her kids and husband. Daddy, daddy, daddy. Sends home books about Daddy, asked my son why he didn't draw a picture of his daddy. This, after numerous times I have told her he doesn't have a dad. "We're a mom and kid family," I reminded her at PT Conferences. "Oh!" she says as if I'm telling her for the first time, and as if I'm the first single mother in the universe. "So, pretty please, can you lighten up with the Daddy Daddy Daddy optional books you're shoving down his throat?" I said that more diplomatically of course.

9. She calls about stupid stuff and fails to call about important things. Like this, for example.

Due to unfortunate circumstances, it looks like we have her again next year! Heaven help me.


  1. No you aren't being overly sensitive the women sounds like a piece of work. Woohoo, one more year of fun with her too. *sigh*

  2. I am suffering with the same problem. My daughters kindergarden teacher is a douch! I hate that lady. I knew from the first time I met her we were gonna have some problems. I walked in the classroom door on orientation night and didnt even get a hello! She hardly even spoke to my child. I had to figure out where my child would be sitting on my own. She didnt even give us any infomation for whats in store for my child. Now that we are in to the school year my daughter is not improving at all! So I have took it upon myself to teach my daughter what she should know and this lady still has the.nerve to.swnd him.notes saying my daughter doesnt know this and that. I couldve swore she was the teacher.I feel like I am sending my child to school just for breakfast and lunch.

  3. The teacher obviously lacks common sense. I'd be the same way!

  4. Oh my husband thinks I'm a mental case now...wait until I have to deal with something like this "teacher." The gum chomping, I would have had to excuse myself...seriously.

  5. I COMPLETELY agree with everyone on here. I feel like any communication with my child's teacher is like pulling teeth. I ask her how he is doing and she says "find" week after week, just for his report card to come out with a 68 on it. WTH? Is a 68 really "fine" for her??? DITZY IDIOT.

  6. I'm a teacher myself, and this post appalls me!
    Here is what I would do:
    A) Talk to the principal about her.
    B) Have your kid moved to another classroom.
    C) Leave the school if they won't move your child.
    D) If you don't want to move your child out of the school, take your complaints downtown to the school district building- they would be oh-so-happy to hear about this ditz and her facebook photos ;-) People in other professions get fired for that crap and teachers should be held to a higher standard than that.

  7. Honestly I think you are in way over your head, She might be a bitch but unlesss your child is coming home with a full packed lunch you packed that same morning and is showing signs of neglect in the diaper change region than I would not worry.

  8. I'll bet she's "learning him real good."

    This is a phrase that I once heard uttered by the woman my ex left me for. REALLY? REALLY?

  9. I'm another teacher myself. I enjoyed your post and it's cleverly written (very witty!). However, some of the issues on your list stem from YOUR assessment of the teacher. On the other hand, a few issues would be annoying/inappropriate on a global level.

    1. Yes, you didn't get the best first impression of her. It happens. She may have later regretted what she said to you. Sometimes after I meet my students' parent(s), I wanna shoot myself in the foot because I know I said the wrong thing.

    2. I'm a quirky/peppy person myself. I try to be positive for the kids. Some of them need that. Then later...I cry in my car.

    3-4. Yes, her FB profile should be very private. Should she friend parents? Hells no! However, if her profile is private and by chance a parent is some weird/creepy internet hacker and her spring break pictures are exposed....SO BE IT. If I've been working out and look good in my 2 piece, I'm posting it! (profile private)

    5. Bad grammar is super annoying. However, some areas speak differently. I'm from an Italian-American family, and sometimes I say 'yous.' I'm working on that though and so should this teacher.

    6. No comment. The gum thing is annoying and unprofessional.

    7. Every teacher is different and some parents enjoy those little projects (no clue why). I assign my kiddos a monthly take home project and homework packet (that is optional). I try not to be too annoying. I know parents are super busy! It sounds like this teacher OD's on assigning take home activities. I hope to God they're optional.

    8. By October, a teacher should know the dynamic of a child's family (unless it's always changing).

    9. Your story about the hair cutting thing was HILARIOUS! What a freak.

    So what am I saying? Well, it's obvious this teacher isn't 'your kind of people.' I know a few parents who don't like me for whatever reason (the mom won't even say Hi when she walks in the room). I think you should certainly have a talk with her about the more problematic things since you'll have to deal with her lovely self again in the fall. Though, these issues don't really warrant a classroom change (in my opinion). Cheers

  10. I really like the "faux blonde, smile on face, knife in back" part. I really like it! I feel the same about my son's current 6th grade teacher. She walks around with a great BIG smile, obnoxious plastered on smile, quoting Ghandi in her signature line on email, hugging and giving high fives, whether wanted or not, but only to those kids that she decides she likes. If trouble brews, as it does, she cannot and will not meet with you to discuss it or handle it. She's in an obnoxiously, preppy, phony good mood at all times, except those times when she's telling a 6th grade boy that he's never going to go anywhere in life, or that he's disgusting. I really wish teachers were graded every year by their students and parents and that their pay pertained to that grade. We'd begin to see a world of change, is my guess.

  11. This woman is not a teacher, she is still in high school. As a MATURE parent, as opposed to an immature party girl, you need to assess (have probably already assessed) what is best for your child and DO IT. You probably have already, since I am a year late to this conversation, but for the record, your instincts are correct. I wish I could give every mother a huge confidence boost in their own gut reactions. I am sure teachers and principals would suddenly have a new found respect for all mothers if they just stood toe to toe with some of these people and demanded professionalism.

    My daughter's grade one teacher was exactly like this. Added to this she thought she was a comedian, and used parent teacher group meetings as a gig for new jokes. She corralled all the mothers in to her corner, and since every single one of them was a first time mother (ie their kids were the oldest in their families) they all figured this was how it was done. My daughter was the youngest in her family with two older brothers. So I knew the drill and recognised the idiocy for what it was.

    My daughter's teacher took me aside in week 6 of the first term and told me my daughter could probably benefit from repeating kindergarten! I looked at her like she had two heads and said "It's only week 6". My child was not taking class as seriously as this teacher thought she should. Mind you, this teacher had never taught year 1 before, so in fact had no experience in what year 1 students should be able to do or not do. Either way, my daughter did not fail year 1 and the teacher I found out later had a very bad reputation amongst other school parents, and this was when she was teaching the older grades.

    Common sense will tell you what is right and wrong, confidence should back your assessments. If you are wrong, well then you can apologise, but if you aren't you have saved yourself and your child a great deal of distress!!!!

  12. Yeah, well. My son's 3rd grade teacher called dyfys on me after our parent/teacher conference. After alot of empty promises all year. He and the gym (nasty and condescending witch) ganged up on me at the 15 minute meeting... "I don't know what it's like in your home but, here at school we like to keep order." Yeah - I can tell. Is that why Wyatt lost his 5 week in-class project that you were, "disappointed that Wyatt lost his paper in the classroom and must complete the assignment tommorow." That was the day before the conference. And, how about the gym teacher disdainfully saying, "Wyatt melts down all the time." To which I said, "Oh really - then how come you've never thought to inform me all these years?" Well, you see here on the report card it says, "Needs Improvement" This after I've been trying all year to be on top of finding a solution for why he can'at seem to get his books home or stay on task. The teacher insists he's capable but unmotivated. I've talked with his pediatrician, a developmental pediatrician, a nuerologist... all with different results. The school has never officially stepped in to do anything such as an IEP. I told the teacher, "I don't give a shit about any of this accept for, how it impacts my son's self-esteem." Suddenly, dyfys showed at my doorstep. I was accused of being erratic, up and down, always at the back of the school drop off line, showing signs of mental instability and/ or seemingly "high" All of which is false. I'm not involved enough with the school. (42 emails this year.) My son has no friends. He absolutely has friends. The teacher dropped the ball. Didn't follow through on anything he promissed. I get that he is not competent, I get that he can't handle the classroom or a student like my son but to spitefully call dyfys on me. What a vile and disgusting human being. My advice. Don't let your teacher know how you feel. Keep an email trail. It probably won't apply if you're not facing expensive special education needs that the shool doesn't want to pay for but - watch out. These people are not your friends. There are few good, honest people in the school systems.


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