Pages

Monday, February 14, 2011

I’m A Love Goddess – Hear Me Roar!


Mommy Needs Vodka Love Goddess Valentine's Day
www.mommyneedsvodka.com

Here’s a picture of me when I was young and beautiful, about 20 years ago. So why didn’t I have a date on Valentine’s Day?

Sniff, sniff.

Okay, hopefully I won’t look like this even in 40 years. But, seriously.

V-day is D-day, or rather just another frigging day. Even when I have been in relationships on V-day, I was all, “You’d better not spend $50 on a vase of roses and we’re not going out to eat either.” So it’s never been a case of sour grapes. Just a sour attitude on preying corporate entities who jack up prices for men with quivering knees, fearful that they must get the perfect gift for their lover OR ELSE.

I’m a Low Maintenance Goddess when it comes to what I call Marketing Holidays. This would include New Year’s Eve and Valentine’s Day. These are days that I will likely always stay in, whether I’m celibate or in the throes of a hot romance. I don’t see the point of forcing someone to kowtow to the whims of societal “You Must Buy The Perfect Thing” BS.

Listen up, because I don’t often defend men. So when I do, you know I’m not blowing smoke. If any guys are reading this, you don’t have to go out and spend a fortune on some fleeting flowers to send your lover at the office to “prove” your love. Cuz love is more like this: you’re holding her hair back as she’s puking over the toilet. Not only is this free, it shows that you really really really care. Doing something like that proves that you’re Way Gone over her.

To prove my point about this marketing BS, I once actually cooked dinner for my man on Valentine’s Day. Seriously, I did. I grilled salmon and served wine, the whole shebang. Says a lot for someone who’s Domestically Disabled. In short, I do not cook. I’ve not used my oven in nearly a year (why bother in this day and age of microwaves and gas grills?).

If you love someone, you love ‘em daily. Every day is valentine’s day. Every day, say I love you. Buy flowers or Whatever Widget on sale at a random time. They’ll be appreciated any time of year, I promise.

Unless you’re a stalker. Then you literally need to get Way Gone and find a woman who loves you back, k?

(Disclaimer: I do not include any holiday that gives me a day off work, as a Marketing Holiday.)

3 comments:

  1. Meh. What's wrong with her figure? At least she has a good bosom and smallish waist.

    Eh, I think it's OK if the guys go out and get us something. I get tired of guys whining, "It's just a holiday for Hallmark to make money," (having had two ex's cry out that yet turn around that day and buy themselves something expensive from a camping store).

    AND, I aways have gotten the men something, too. So it never has been a day where my men have waited on me.

    The only man I wouldn't get anything for was Cactis Man, because he always used to lavish things on me on that holiday (when he REMEMBERED), as a way to make up for countless crummy things he did all year long.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You need to fix the ability to post comments on your blog, I am still having difficulties when posting with the Name/URL profile.
    Yeah, V day is silly. Flowers are more expensive, restaurant menus are pricier, and it's not as fun as just going out on a regular day of the week. Bunch of hype. However, a lot of people are in relationships where that's the only day they make special so in that sense, it's a good thing there's at least one day they make fun.

    ReplyDelete
  3. For some reason I think you need to post with a google email addy. I hate the letters having to be typed in but otherwise robots can be sent out. However with moderation turned on, it would have to bypass me anyway. I can turn the letters thing off if it's an issue.

    If people are in relatioships where only one day of the year is special to them, maybe they need to seek a new relationship, IMO.

    ReplyDelete

Reading? Write!